25 JAN 09 (sun) 

BACK TO THE GRIND 

It's just after 9 am on Sunday morning. Today's sunlight is beaming itself into our spare bedroom onto the right side of my body and it is making my skin feel clammy. I'm 4 cups of coffee into it already and trying to get creative about this post, but the law of diminishing return is having its way with my body and now my stomach is feeling kind of yuck. All I can hear outside is the rustle of these palm/flax like leaves brushing against our window. They are nice to look at the city through but are surprisingly noisy. 

The other day I had to do some pruning because the branches were so thick and were in need of thinning. I couldn't actually see out of the window. But all I had to cut them with was a domestic, hand-held meat saw I found in one of the kitchen drawers. It did not make for an easy operation. I ended up fully extended, half way out of the window grabbing the neck of the branch with one hand and sawing ferociously with  the other. I made enough noise that the guy living below us poked his head out of his window to see just what was going on. That's when I realized that maybe I shouldn't be hacking up this tree and that maybe it was some kind of violation to our lease... But I was already into it and almost finished so I introduced myself and gave a Cosmo Kramer-like smile to him and kept on with it. 

Heather's sleeping this morning in; it's one of her favorite things to do on Sundays. She deserves it after her first full week back to the Adventures of Nursing. It's been fun getting up with her early in the mornings and getting going again; except I don't really go anywhere yet. So I either walk her to work or to the end of the drive way. I've been spending the majority of time living like how I imagine writers or comedians do; lounging around, drinking lots of coffee and taking their sweet ass time doing anything but mostly nothing. 

OUR FIRST TRAMP

Today we are planning on going out for a day hike along a coastal trail walk above a nearby small town. It should be a nice, mellow exercise unlike what we did last week. Last week we tagged along with a local 'tramping' club. Tramping is what we thought the Kiwi's equivalent  was to our 'hiking.' We learned that is not. Apparently there are several degrees of hiking. Each with a slightly different name but each with a considerable difference in danger and difficulty. 

Going into great description would take too long for what this is worth but what we basically thought was going to be an easy/moderate day hike turned into a 12 mile, cross terrain exercise in bushwhacking/orienteering. The excursion would have made Jeff Spaulding proud; It was right up his alley.  

The group leader was eye-balling us as we arrived at the trail head and stepped out of the car. (Well, actually it was not a trail head at all. It was literally a wide shoulder along a gravel road in the middle of nowhere.) He advised us that next time we should re-consider many of our gear choices i.e. actual hiking boots, gators and walking sticks. All of which are products both of us had previously thought were ridiculous things specifically produced for yuppies and middle-aged woman who really want to look they're hiking up a storm when they go out for their yearly 3 mile hike. Neither of us had ever found much use for these things before. But after about 2 minutes, our feet were soaking wet from crossing two streams and found that there is really no such things as 'trails' here but open terrain 'routes.' (this excludes the Great Walks that are heavily traveled i.e. the Milford Sound Track and Routeburn Track.) 

 

It was this all day. 

with several water crossings. 

And if wading through chest-high brush isn't enough to deal with, NZ is the home to 12 of 14 varieties of this plant; "the Spaniard." Adrian, the group leader, told us to be weary of these tough, poking and stubborn SOB's. And he was right because they were everywhere. They were not shy about letting you know that they were there. I quickly figured out how they earned their names... 

Adrian, the group leader, comes up to me when we stopped for this view and says, "You see that?" 

I say, "The view? Yeah, it's incredible."

He says, "No! That right there. Do you know what it is?" 

Feeling kind of confused I say, "What what is?"

He says, "Ah come on, that right there! It's just out there like a bulldog's balls!" 

And then I was really confused and said nothing but looked out onto the scene like I was impressed by it but was still not sure what I was supposed to see. 

After a second he shouts proudly, "It's a fault line!" 

He was full of all sorts of encyclopedic facts. And me being me, got to hear about them all day. He told me all sorts of random old man shit like:

Sydney Cotton - the original james bond

How the Japanese attacked New Zealand

How the British invented navigation

How to read a map

How glaciers are formed and how they create different moraines 

How he doesn't like to talk to his wife because she's Australian

How to walk down a steep hill covered by loose rock

How not climb a steep hill covered by loose rock

How hiking in NZ is very different from hiking in America

How hikers die all the time because they wear cotton clothing

The top 4 reasons people live in survival situations

How he can wear his rubber boots for 4 years before he needs new ones

How he upgrades his equipment by adding a material that is better than GORE-TEX

How I need to tie my gloves down to my jacket or they'll blow off like a fart in the wind

How the British soldiers invented balaclavas when they fought the Russians

How Prime Minister Chamberlian was actually a hero by fostering the Munich Agreement

How 40 of the 44 US Presidents were Masons

How he is a Mason

How his favorite book was written by a Kiwi woman in 1887 called The River Runs My Life 

This guy chewed my ear all day long. I absolutely could not get away from him. And Heather was no help. She could of rescued me but didn't. I think she liked it. As soon as he'd start coming my way, she'd high-tail it up or down the trail as quick as she could. I'd try to dodge each interaction but I couldn't think of any socially acceptable ways out. At one point, he told a joke to me. I am embarrassed to admit this but it was actually a joke from my repertoire. It was the one about the two cannibals who were eating a clown and how the one cannibal looks up at the other asks 'does this taste funny to you.' 

All Heather could do at that point was look at me with a smirk that said, you two are perfect for each other. I think this was her favorite part of the day. 

Almost to the top!

But make no mistake about it, it was very fun. The view from the top was well worth it! That's the reservoir that provide power to Christchurch; Adrian told me that.

On our way back down. 

Taking a snack break back down at the bottom. Behind me, just above my head, is a median moraine! (Not the hill but the little ridge below it.)

BUSKERS FESTIVAL 

The World Buskers Festival is going on right now in Christchurch (ChCh). A Busker is a street comedian or performer. It's been great. All over town right by our place there are performers doing all sorts of crazy stuff. Some are good and others are not so good. We've seen a guy do a whole juggling act on a tight rope. We've seen a guy put his body through a de-stringed tennis racket. We've seen a contortionist stuff her body into a small box. We've seen a girl spin 50 hula hoops around her body at once. We've seen a viking swallow a big sword. And we've also seen a guy change a diaper of a baby doll while spinning a dodge ball on stick in his mouth but I'm not sure that was that cool... 

Buskers Park at Victoria Park near our place. 

This is the Avon River. It meanders through the city and you can take a Punt ride. 

Cathedral Square

The best performer we saw yesterday was this woman who climbed up this huge piece of cloth fabric and spun all around in it like a ballerina while being suspended 20 feet in the air. It was crazy. The cloth was all tangled up all over her body and she just used it was everyday gymnast equipment. It reminded me of Cirque du Soulie stuff. 

Another cool one was this contortionist lady. 

You can see her all balled up in the box. Wild, wild stuff!

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES 

For as similar as things seem here compared to the US, I'm really appreciating the distinct differences we are coming across. For example, at work, Heather has not yet been pooped on, screamed at or been harassed by a patient's family member. She has not had to deal with drug seeking hood rats or morbidly obese fatsos who blame their situations on the 'sugar diabetes' and not on their self indulgent, present minded lifestyles. What's mainly different thus far is the attitude people have towards healing and comfort after a physical trauma. I guess she is used to patients expecting a luxury hotel experience and feeling entitled to the comforts of home. Of course keep in mind that she worked in a ghetto fabulous hospital and saw the insurance-less side of society. 

The first blaring difference in this patient attitude happened the other day. One of her patients was an 83 old farmer who had surgery on his left foot after a deep wound (an ulcer) had caused some serious skin damage. I guess this kind of thing is common for old people with really poor blood flow. (Officially it's caused by peripheral vascular disease.) After the surgery, the doctor was in inspecting how it was healing. Everything looked good  but, just for laughs, he thought it would be good to check out the other foot and noticed a small but irritated wound on the heel. Upon looking at more, the doc realized that this wound was much deeper than it initially appeared.  He told the old man that he'd have to come back for another surgery. 

The old man wasn't too happy to hear this and asked if there was anything else that could be done. He said that he'd rather cut the foot off than have to come all the way back for another surgery. The doc thought about it for a while. He thought out loud of possible alternatives like special dressings or just letting it be but ultimately decided that the ulcer needed to be taken care of. The old man's daughter who was in the room was encouraging her dad to just have the surgery. But the old man was defiant and insisted that it was now or never. The doc obliged but warned that he wouldn't be able to put any anesthetic  pain cream on it because he didn't want the good skin to be negatively affected. The old man didn't mind. 

And so with teeth clenched and face grimaced, the doctor cut a one by one by one inch hole circling the ulcer into this old man's foot using a scalpel.  Blood came pouring out of the hole like the way it looks on TV; like when the bad guy gets shot in the chest. But the old man just toughed it out with no pain meds. The whole time, the daughter was like "you can do it dad!" and "good on ya old man!" And within minutes the whole deal was done. The old man didn't seem any less bothered. I guess he even told the doc, "good on ya mate; it has to hurt if it's gonna heel! You did what had to be done!" 

Now that's crazy. 

Another example of attitudes toward health care that seems to be different is the concern  and promotion of preventative healthcare. They seem to be encouraged instead of sheltered and kept under lock and key; a lock shaped like an expensive insurance policy and a key shaped like the cash-money symbol. Take for example this free sunscreen kiosk put up by the New Zealand Cancer Society. Now I could be wrong and I could be ignorantly jaded but it seems like some loaded or important person who lost a tragic battle with a rare disease has to pass away before any kind of public awareness campaign gets launched by a privately fund-raised group. 

But again, I don't know, we just thought it was cool there was free sunscreen available. I had to learn the hard way that it's definitely important here! Check out my back...

I laid down at a water park for literally 10 minutes and got scorched! You can see where I self applied some earlier in the day around my nape and upper shoulders. This is bad! 

BREW MASTER

I like the booze but it's not cheap here. So I've taken matters into my own hands and have started brewing my own libations. These hand crafted master-pieces will likely taste like pond water but I have ensured that they will do the trick. There's nothing a little extra sugar won't fix...

Until next time! 

M&H